Several weeks ago, the oncologist I spoke with was a nice man, but I could feel the pressure he was placing on my spirit as he declared multiple times. "This is how we're going to treat your cancer." He verbally considered my prayerful decision of a bilateral mastectomy as "not logical." I want a doctor who respects me and my beliefs, so I spoke to my family practice physician on Monday, who recommended an oncologist "who would appreciate a patient who knows what she wants."
This past Wednesday, I spoke to my breast surgeon to get her recommendation of an oncologist who felt continued treatment was not necessary. (Remember, 50% of the oncologists at the conference said further treatment was not needed) She brought up the oncologist whom my family practice doctor recommended saying, "I don't like him," but she didn't elaborate. She didn't give me the name of another oncologist, but continued to say, in reference to the oncologist I saw initially, "He is the smartest man I know." I believe Intelligence without the guidance of God's Spirit can be a dangerous mix.
On Thursday, I sat at the kitchen table considering the reality that I don't have an oncologist with whom I am comfortable. I said out loud to Strongman, "I don't know what to do." Then I said out loud to Jesus, "Jesus, I don't know what to do. Help me." I wasn't upset, just a little perplexed. I decided to go downstairs to check my computer for any emails. Approximately, five minutes after telling Jesus that I didn't know what to do, my cell phone rang. My prophetic friend called me from work, she felt an urgency to call immediately, just to tell me about an oncologist who a co worker's wife saw for breast cancer. He is a miracle believing, born again Christian! Sounds like my kind of doctor.
Jesus, truly is my Shepherd Who leads me in perfectly. We sang a song in church on Saturday night declaring Psalm 23 whose words mean more to me now than ever before. I couldn't help but dance in praise of my Best Friend Who continually imparts peace, direction, and wisdom to me. This Man Whom I Love, answers my cries for help and guidance. He deserves ALL of my worship in this life and in the life I will share with Him throughout eternity!!!
- For the generous monetary gift we received on Saturday. We Love you guys!!!
- The nutritional/lifestyle advice I received on Wednesday was a confirmation of much of what I already am doing.
- The infectious disease nurse practitioner's eyes lit up when she saw how great my left side looked.
- I completed two weeks of half shifts completing desk work without difficulty.
- I am exercising and getting stronger each day.
- I have lost weight, and am eating a lot of food. It's amazing how much more food a person can eat, when choosing low fat, healthy foods.
- I am scheduled for my regular job this afternoon.
- Although well-meaning Christians indirectly insinuate that cancer is the result of wrong doing on my part, their opinions have not affected my soul. I know the heart of my Jesus. He leads me perfectly with the Love of a Bridegroom; He doesn't drive me with whips forcing me to go His way. That is not the God I serve.
- For Jesus Who leads me perfectly!!!
- That my spiritual ears and eyes would be open to Jesus' leading constantly.
- That I would be able to work without undue fatigue, which I have been battling at times.
- That the days of my life would be steps towards my destiny in Jesus, not just days spent.
- That those who come into contact with me would see God's glory through my words and actions.
- That my soul would continue to be protected from "well-meaning Christians." Jesus, touch them and reveal Your heart and Your ways. Make their hearts like Your heart.
- That I would be able to see the born again oncologist quickly. I want closure to this bump in the path of my destiny as soon as possible.
Thank you all for all you do. Prayers, hugs, kind words of encouragement reflect the Love of Jesus!
Blessings to you all!
With Much Love...
Beautiful Grace :)